| Dark Days :( |
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| 12:02am 29/03/2006 |
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mood:  Dark Days :( music: DMX - Damien
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Well on monday, you may have heard that 4 people were killed in 4 seperate car accidents, well I knew one of them.. and when you know someone who is killed in a car accident, it really hits home.. it hurts.. just makes you feel sick.. He was only 17.. had his whole life ahead of him.. and it feels really bad to me, I cant even begin to imagine what his parents, siblings, and girlfriend are feeling.. he was doing 150KM/H when he lost cotrol and crashed into a Traffic Light pole at the BlackTop rd and Main North Road junction.. Killed on impact, a passenger survived, it was a mircale, he was in the front half of the car that got flung another good 8 meters.. so yeah.. this week has started really horribly.. my thoughts and condolences go out to his friends and family.. cruise that highway in heaven buddy :( |
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| Got my lab pierced :D |
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| 04:26pm 19/03/2006 |
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mood: Sooo Lonely :( music: Choke me - The Used
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Well, yesterday went to TTP n got my labret pierced :D my friend made me get the thickest bar with the biggest spike >.< bitch! lol but meh looks good.. hurt a bit when happend but not nemore.. now its more annoying coz i keep biting it n playing wif it n i shouldnt incase it gets infected.. someone crashed into my car so im really pissed off! its gonna cost about $350 to fix the freaking door!! ARRGH! not happy at all! >.< oh well shit happens... to me >.>
still single.. still looking.. bah! ill be single forever lol! so many people come up to me now n like "you look different" im like.. yeah youll get that.. n some people are like "you've lost weight" like duh. i starve myself! lol! and some are like "you're fading away! eat more" n im like.. no!
anyway.. thats all there is for today! bye journs |
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| I'm such an Emo |
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| 08:53pm 15/03/2006 |
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mood:  apathetic
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dear diary,
mood: apathetic
my life is spiraling downward. i couldn't get enough money to go to the Blood Red Romance and Suffocate Me Dry Concert. It sucks cause they play some of my favorite songs like 'Stab My Heart Because I Love You,' and 'Rip Apart My Soul,' and of course, 'Stabby Rip Stab Stab." and it doesn't help that i couldn't get my hair to do that flippy thing either, like that guy from that band could do, some days you know. . .
i'm an emo kid, non-conforming as can be
you'd be non-conforming to if u look just like me
i have paint on my nails and make-up on my face
i'm almost emo enough to start shaving my legs
'cause i feel real deep when i'm dressing in drag
i call it freedom of expression most just call me a fag
'cause their dudes look like chicks, their chicks look like dikes
'cause emo is one step below transvestite
stop my breathing and slit my throat
i must be emo
i don't jump around when i go to shows
i must be emo
i'm dark and sensitive with low self-esteem
the way i dress makes everyday feel like Hallowe'en
i have no real problems but i like to make believe
i stole my sister's mascara now i'm grounded for a week
sulking and writing poetry are my hobbies
i can't get through a Hawthorne Heights album without sobbing
girls keep breaking up with me, it' never any fun
they say they already have a pussy, they don't need another one
stop my breathing and slit my throat
i must be emo
i don't jump around when i go to shows
i must be emo
dye in my hair and polish on my toes
i must be emo
i play guitar and write suicide notes
i must be emo
my life is just a black abyss, you know, it's so dark. and it's suffocating me. grabbing ahold of me and tightening it's grip, tighter than a pair of my little sister's jeans . . . which look great on my by the way
when i get depressed i cut my wrists in every direction
hearing songs about getting dumped give me an erection
i write in a live journal and wear thick rimmed glasses
i told my friends i bleed black and cry during classes
i'm just a bad, cheap imitation of goth
you can read me "Catcher in the Rye," and watch me jack off
i wear skin tight clothes while hating my life
if i said i like girls i'd only be half right
i look like i'm dead and dress like a homo
i must be emo
screw XBOX i play old school Nintendo
i must be emo
i like to whine and hate my parentals
i must be emo
me and my friends all look like clones
i must be emo
my parents just don't get me you know. they think i'm gay just because they saw me kiss a guy. well, a couple of guys. but i mean, it's the 2000s. can't 2, or 4 dudes make-out with each other without being gay. i mean, chicks dig that kind of thing anyways. i don't know diary, sometimes i think you're the only one that gets me, you're my best friend. . . . i feel like tacos |
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Read 11 - Post |
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| santa! |
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| 06:35pm 21/12/2005 |
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 Dear Santa...
Dear Santa,
This year I've been busy!
In August I helped ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) thaneofcalenhad across the street (6 points). In October I stole red_moon_vixen's purse (-30 points). Last Tuesday I broke ma_mobbie_tlks's X-Box (-12 points). In July I committed genocide... Sorry about that, foxy_gem (-5000 points). In September I pulled lil_pwincezz's hair (-5 points).
Overall, I've been naughty (-5041 points). For Christmas I deserve a lump of coal!
Sincerely,
altecno |
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| I miss |
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| 01:56am 24/11/2005 |
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mood:  weird music: Get Crunk
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I miss highschool and all my friends from highschool :'( why why why!!! I MISS YOU ALL SO MUCH! |
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Read 3 - Post |
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| fucked up my life |
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| 01:28am 29/10/2005 |
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mood: Depressed music: Goodbye My Lover - James Blunt
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I have screwed things up pretty badly in my life :(
I have so much.. yet it means so little to me.. I have a good job.. I have a wild car.. I go out all the time.. I have an awsome social life.. yet.. I'd give it all up just for what so many people around me have.. I feel poor while they are rich to me.. im talking up people in relationships.. i have had so many good ones but i fucked them all up coz im an idiot.. and the saying goes you dont know what you have until its gone and now.. its gone.. gone forever.. gone for good i fear.. i used to be able to imagine being in a decent relationship but it has been so long now that i cant even see myself being with anyone ever again.. and that is the only one thing i truly want.. to be able to share my life with someone...
a wise person once told me "Life is worthless unless you have someone to share it with" and i just cant help wondering.. if this is true.. why.. WHY am i still alive? im wasted.. there is so many better people who have so much.. and here i am.. alone.. single.. its really fucking pissing me off! AND I HATE IT SO BLOODY MUCH!!
i cant help thinking.. why me.. and then i just realise.. coz i am me.. and i am worthless. i have nothing to offer anyone that actually means anything but my love.. and nobody will take it.. they act like it is tainted.. as if its a disease.. a disease noone wants to contract.. and if you get to close.. the only thing you can do is run.. run as fast as you can.. and thats what everyone does.. every time i get close to someone there is like an invisible crowbar just prying us apart like a disease cell and a bloodcell being attacked by a white cell.. why must i be a disease cell.. why can i be a normal blood cell like everyone else!? i just want someone to take me as I am.. i just want this... or to end. i just need this pain to end i cant take it any longer! I just cant do it!
sigh.. |
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| 02:32am 16/09/2005 |
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mood: Sad
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OK, So at the moment, My life really sucks, this girl, I went out with her once.. n stuff.. but I really got to know her.. we did some stuff up at Renmark n yea.. I fell really hard for her, Because we never really dated she chose some other guy over me.. I accepted this and moved on..
about 2 days ago I find this girls number in my phone, Mel 16 f adel.. and I thought meh, and messaged her.. apparently her Boyfriend is, we'll call her "jessie", jessie's now ex, the guy she chose.. so I started thinking about jessie heaps.. n thought i should message her.. and i did, and to my suprise I got a reply, she said sorry for messing me about, and the guy treated her like a dumbarse and stuff n yeah.. now I miss jessie so badly.. I think about her so much... I think I still havnt gotten up after falling for her.. and I really wanna get together with her.. but the way she is acting seems like she is avoiding me.. and I dont know what to do! I REALLY LIKE HER! and I just feel so sad.. like im going to emotionally break down.. and nothing can make me smile.. nothing can make me laugh.. it feels like ill never be happy again until she is in my arms.. what am I supposed to do with things like this??!
This girl means so much to me, I dont think she knows how much she still means to me.. and I feel so sad.. like im about to cry.. and I hant cried whilst being sober in a long time.. I cry when I drink too much sometimes.. but not when I'm sober..
WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?!!? :'(
btw... Im 18 now, and I have a VT Commodore 'S' 5 speed manual V6... and thats about it...
thats all from me for now.. bye journs |
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| hehehe |
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| 01:57am 13/09/2005 |
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OK so I thought I might do a few of these stupid quiz things.. Why? I DONT KNOW! lol!!! anyway...
OK, Someone please tell me how the hell this works
Gemma:
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| 02:45am 11/08/2005 |
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Wellll I think ill just say whats going on with my life.. not that anyone cars but.. Im not 18, I drive a White 1998 VT Commodore 'S' 5-speed, still single; still looking, black hair now, 5'7, owe $5900 off the VN SS i hit, owe about 24900 or something to my VT loan.. stupid interest >.>, still saving for a house.. bleh.. who cares.. nobody? good bye |
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| 69 Questions |
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| 12:55pm 16/07/2005 |
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mood:  hmmm music: American Idiot :)
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True
Untrue
01. I miss somebody right now.
02. I watch more tv than I used to.
03. I love olives.
04. I love sleeping.
05. I own lots of books.
06. I wear glasses or contact lenses. (Im meant to)
07. I love to play video games.
08. I've tried marijuana.
09. I've watched porn movies.
10. I've been in a threesome.
11. I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.
12. I believe honesty is the best policy
13. I have acne fee skin.
14. I like and respect Al Sharpton.
15. I curse frequently.
16. I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.
17. I have a hobby.
18. I've been told I have a nice butt.
19. I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
20. I've broken someone else's bones.
21. I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal.
22. I love rain.
23. I'm paranoid at times.
24. I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost and scar-free.
25. I need money right now.
26. I love sushi
27. I talk really, really fast sometimes.
28. I have fresh breath in the morning.
29. I have semi-long hair.
30. I have lost money in Las Vegas.
31. I have at least one brother or sister. [both]
32. I was born in a country outside Australia.
33. I shave my legs.
34. I have a twin.
35. I couldn't survive without Caller I.D.
36. I like the way I look.
37. I have lied to a good friend in the past 6 months.
38. I know how to do cornrows. huh?
39. I am usually pessimistic.
40. I have mood swings.
41. I think prostitution should be legalized.
42. I think Britney Spears is pretty/hot.
43. I have cheated on a significant other.
44. I have a hidden talent.
45. I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.
46. I think that I'm popular.
47. I am currently single.
48. I pratically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
49. I love to shop.
50. I would rather shop than eat.
51. I would classify myself as ghetto.
52. I'm bourgie and have worn a sweater tied around my shoulders.
53. I'm obsessed with my blog. [used to be]
54. I don't hate anyone.
55. I'm a pretty good dancer.
56. I don't think Mike Tyson raped Desiree Washington...
57. I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
58. I have a mobile phone.
59. I watch MTV on a daily basis.
60. I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months. (almost)
61. I have never been in a real relationship before.
62. I've rejected someone before.
63. I currently have a crush on someone. i would like to rephrase that! I currently am in love with someone
64. I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
65. I want to have children in the future. (Sooner rather than later)
66. I have changed a diaper before.
67. I've had the cops called on me before.
68. I bite my nails.
69. I'm not allergic to anything deadly. |
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| Been a while! |
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| 12:48am 27/06/2005 |
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Well i havnt been on here since like.. forever.. so here goes! I now drive a magna SE, 1986 pos, im turning 18 in 1 month, i have had several crappy relationships, i still work at holdens, im saving for a house, which ill be getting sometime the end of next year, im going to get a new car when i turn 18 dunno what yet, but prolly some sort of commie, umm.. im going to simple plan concert and possibly enchanted CANT WAIT! Enchanted will be sooo cool if i go!!! just waitin to see if mel and dion are comin.. maybe callum too.... dunno yet.. whatever happens.. i met a nice canadian.. doubt anything will come of it.. (NICE CANADIAN IN LIVING IN ADELAIDE for you wierdo's who think im into that whole long distance thing) ummmmmm i have a new phone.. had it for about 2 weeks, and now its broken.. YAY!!! hoorah for crappy phones!!
hoorah.. wow.. what a erm.. powerful word.. haha XD
yer.. thats about it.. about all i got.. sept i got red hair still!! however it has brown in it to from my natural color growing underneath.. and yah...
well.. thats about it... all i got.. leave a message if u wanna.. or dont >.< either way! HAHAHA |
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| What is the most randomly randomous random? |
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| 02:27am 12/05/2005 |
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sorry bout the subject.. just felt like putting something off topic there.. bahahahaha
going out tomoz again.. with some guys from work.. gonna try pick up some chickas... then on tuesday next week bout 15 of us from work are goin bowling.. 10$ for 2 games + shoe hire XD Cheep... havnt been bowling in nearly a year.. gonna be rusty.. one of the guys is gonna buy me a beer if i beat him.. too bad i hate beer.. meh! anyway... dat all from me.. laterz! |
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| 01:53am 10/05/2005 |
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 | You scored as Satanism. Your beliefs most closely resemble those of Satanism! Before you scream, do a bit of research on it. To be a Satanist, you don't actually have to believe in Satan. Satanism generally focuses upon the spiritual advancement of the self, rather than upon submission to a deity or a set of moral codes. Do some research if you immediately think of the satanic cult stereotype. Your beliefs may also resemble those of earth-based religions such as paganism.
Satanism | | 100% | Buddhism | | 79% | Islam | | 67% | atheism | | 67% | Hinduism | | 67% | Judaism | | 58% | Paganism | | 46% | agnosticism | | 42% | Christianity | | 8% | </td>
Which religion is the right one for you? (new version)
created with QuizFarm.com |
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| HAIR |
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| 01:22am 05/05/2005 |
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Well.. bout a week and a half ago i got a cut n color.. so my hair is now RED with BLACK tips.. wee... im currently 5'7 yay.. 3 more inches till fully grown XD.. and yeah.. dats bout it from me.. work sucks but still pays well.. so im happy there.. gonna study for my VIC so I can be on my way to Cert 2 in Vehicle Manufacturing and... yes you guessed it A PAY RISE :D :D :D
BYES!! |
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| 01:42am 12/04/2005 |
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OK. so I thought It might be fun to find out how much pplz really hate me o_O
ARE WE?
< > good friends?
< > best friends?
< > aquantiances?
< > friends?
< > buddies?
DO YOU THINK I AM....
< > mean::
< > nice::
< > sweet::
< > bitchy::
< > cool::
< > funny::
< > talkative::
< > quiet::
< > loud::
< > crazy::
< > gullable::
< > weird::
< > ugly::
< > pretty::
< > sensitive::
< > creative::
< > moody::
< > happy::
< > emo::
< > annoying::
< > mature::
< > lovable::
< > amazing::
HAVE YOU EVER..
~ hugged me?
~ kissed me?
~ wanted to kiss me?
~ wanted to tell me something but were to scared?
~ danced w. me?
~ been my best friend?
~ been a good friend?
~ hung out with me?
~ wanted to hang out with me?
~ laughed really hard w. me? if so.. what about?
~ what is your most memorable memory of us? |
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| Can anything else possibly go wrong..? |
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| 02:46am 01/04/2005 |
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ok, so.. I crashed my car, the girl I love doesn't love me, I may end up going to court with the car accident thing! aargh!! I have no insurance.. so it gonna cost me a bundle for the other guys car.. im not pressing details of what happened so dont ask! all I know is his car is a Structural Write-off so imma have to replace his car .. which is a VN Commodore S-Pack.. my Ford EA is written off.. but its only a Financial Write-off coz it'll cost more than the cars value to repair it.. can life get any worse for me right now? well im off to find the value of a VN S-Pack so yeah. wish me luck that its not too much! |
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| Why does this always happen to me for?!?!?!??! |
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| 10:11am 29/03/2005 |
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mood: why, o why?!? music: none!!!!! OK? JUST NONE!
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Ok, serious, I'm beggining to wonder if I'm ever supposed to get a girlfriend who actually genuinely loves me and not just says it!! I mean.. This last girl I had a thing for.. she told me she really really liked me.. and we kissed.. and slept together... (we didnt fuck, just slept in the same spot *cough*back seat of a car*cough*) but yeah... we got so fucking close.. then next day.. she is distant.. she talks to me.. we never kissed.. then a couple weeks later im kinda talkin to her with sms, phoning her sometimes... talking to her on the net.. but still.. she seems distant.. so I ask her whats up.. she said ever since wakin up sunday morning. THE FEELINGS HAVE DISSAPEARD!! She reckons first they were there, then they werent.. I mean... cmon.. I may be an absolute retard.. but im not stupid! I do know a thing or two about love! Why do I get the feeling I'm always being used? why do I get the feeling I always let myself get used? WHY WHY WHY!?!?!? Why am I always being so badly tormented by all this shit!!!
on a brighter note.. I met another girl.. talkin to her.. may be meeting her at Riverview Speedway at murray bridge.. good point, she is fun, straight forward.. i know if she dont like me.. she will just come out n say it.. bad point >..> she lives in Mt Barker >..> oh well.. I guess thats why man invented cars.. haha.. anyway.. thats all I got for now.. leave a message >..> |
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thats all :)
You aren't satisfied with just one flavor. They say variety is the spice of life and this shines through in your Ice cream of choice! Just don't eat all the chocolate and leave the strawberry and vanilla behind!